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Saturday, July 21, 2012

The Danger of Holding Grudges

Taught by Nancy S.

I get together with my Sister's once a year for a sister-retreat. Even though we are all different, we have come to love these get-togethers. 

I wondered as I prepared this lesson;

  • Why do we get along so well?
  • Why do we feel like best friends?

I realized;
  • We've learned to accept one another, both our strengths and our weaknesses.
  • We are not jealous or envious.
  • Some weaknesses have become endearing.

It's all about acceptance, understanding, and love!

How fortunate we are to have the sisterhood we share in the gospel and in the Willow Wood Ward. 
I am looking forward to the RS Encampment.

     There is a story in the New Era by Larry A. Hiller called, "Pockets-full-of-rocks", about a man that decided to pick up a rock and put it in his pocket every time he had been wronged or someone made him angry. He did this to remind him of how he felt.  
     He started picking up rocks every time this happened until his pockets became so full that he had to start pilling them in his house. His collection became so big that it covered most every part of his home. He even sometimes placed a rock in his bed so he could remember to be angry about an incident through the night. 
     One day he received a call from a Geology Professor that had heard about his collection and wanted to bring his class to see the rocks. Upon asking about the rocks, the professor and the class learned of how his collection came to be.
     "That is very interesting", said the professor upon learning the origin of the collection. "Can we also see your other collection while we are here?" 
     The man said he didn't have one, but wondering what the professor meant, he ask what other collection the professor thought he would have. 
     The professor said, "I thought you would have a collection of things from all the times someone was kind or did something nice for you." 
     This made the man think. He decided to get rid of his rocks and plant something in his yard every time someone was nice instead. His neighbors watched him haul off all his rocks and loved his unexplained new found love for gardening!

Are we harboring rocks or planting flowers? A good question to ask ourselves.

"If we are looking for fault we will find it. If we are looking for good we will find it!"

Life is far greater and full of more happiness when we focus on the good and forget about the bad.

As President Uchtdorf has said, "We are not perfect. The people around us are not perfect. People do things that annoy, disappoint, and anger. In this mortal life it will always be that way.

"Sometimes we can take offense so easily. On other occasions we are too stubborn to accept a sincere apology.  Who will subordinate ego, pride, and hurt - then step forward with, "I am truly sorry!" Let's be as we once were: friends. Let's not pass to future generations the grievances, the anger of our time"?

President Monson gave a talk in Conference, April 2002 called,  Hidden Wedges. He told of a great walnut tree that fell to splinters in a storm because of a splitter wedge. One that had been left between a limb and the tree then forgotten about. As the tree grew it enveloped the wedge which made it week and vulnerable to destruction.

Where do our hidden wedges originate? Some come from unresolved disputes which lead to ill feelings, followed by remorse and regret. Others find their beginnings in disappointments, jealousies, arguments, and imagined hurts. We must solve them - lay them to rest and not leave them to canker, fester, and ultimately destroy.

I remember many years ago, Stan was called to be the Cub Master. He was excited about this calling and worked very hard to do a good job and make it fun for the boys. On one occasion when he had gone to extra effort, he was criticized for what he had done. The ole' mama bear came out in me and I wanted to give this person a piece of my mind. Stan, being the better person, convinced me that it wasn't important, that he was learning and that maybe he should have done something different.

"To be wronged or robbed is nothing unless you continue to remember it." - Chinese Philosopher Confucious

Do we have charity for others? Are we the Gentiles mocking others for their perceived "weakness" when all they are trying to do is "be faithful"?

Rather than dwell on the faults of others, I need to focus on my own efforts to be Christlike.

"The principle of having love one to another and developing our ability to be Christlike in how we think, speak, and act is fundamental in becoming disciples of Christ and teachers of his gospel"

I loved President Uchtdorf's talk last conference on Kindness and Fundamentals...he said, 

"Let us be kind. Let us forgive. Let us talk peacefully with each other. Let the love of God fill our hearts. Let us do good unto all men".

Not that I think it's always good to reward with a treat, but today I say,

"Don't hold a grudge.....
Eat a peace of Fudge"

*It will be a sweet reminder of how much 
happier you will be!


  1. Great content!! I loved the stories :D

  2. Great stories, especially the rocks and flowers! I had not read that one before!

  3. I am looking forward to using your ideas. You women amaze me. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!!!!

  4. Thank you for the wonderful stories. They will be a great addition to our FHE lesson ❤️

  5. I like the story of rocks & flowers.Amazing!!!!

  6. I loved the story of rocks and flowers,good stuff indeed.